Monday, June 21, 2010

Our First Ever Father's Day

Hubby, I think, was never bothered by the passing of Mother's Day and Father's Day each year, so this occasion didn't hit him with the same force with which it hit me.  For six long years, I dreamed of being able to wish him a Happy Father's Day.  Okay - that may be a little dramatic, but every year I did feel disappointed at not being able to celebrate the holiday with my husband.  The feeling was exacerbated by the memory of a friend of mine who, learning she was pregnant right before Father's Day, chose to tell her dad the good news by giving him a Father's Day card for Grandpa.  I have been looking forward to being able to celebrate this holiday with my dad as Grandpa instead of Dad.

That said, we really did not do much to celebrate.  I got our dads each a calendar with the boys' photos.  (I should mention I've become a Shutterfly junkie.)  I got Hubby the same calendar, plus a mug with the guy's picture on it.  He recently started a new job, so these items will grace his new office [cubicle.] 

The holiday itself was spent in blissful ignoring of household chores.  The four of us swam in the hot tub, then took baths, then watched some TV.  K celebrated the day by finally breaking that top tooth through. 

The days leading up to Sunday, however, were exhausting!  Hubby's folks and brother came to stay a couple of days.  About an hour after they left on Saturday, my folks showed up for a visit.  All the books say how you should take advantage of guests to get some rest, but I find the whole thing exhausting!  Hubby's folks are "table-eaters," so while they are here, we pretend to be table-eaters as well.  In reality, we are "living room eaters."  They are also three-meal-a-day people, as opposed to our "you hungry?" method of meal planning.  I have never done so many dishes in my life!  Between full place settings, meals that consist of more than one food item, and bottles, I was running the dishwasher 2-3x a day.  Plus, to me, having more grownups than babies in the house means I can now work on unpacking the boxes in the garage, sorting through baby clothes, etc. 

I am pleased to announce, however, that I did take one decadently long hot shower which felt amazing on my perpetually sore arm and back muscles.

Here is my question.  Why is it that people don't believe me when I say the kids are tired?  Or hungry?  The grandparents all seem to think that because a baby is smiling and bouncing that he is good to go.  I, however, see the glazed look in the eyes, the rubbing of the noses.  Our boys are happy guys and will play and play until they reach the absolute limits of exhaustion.  At this point, they are miserable and very difficult to console.  So is their mother.  You have to catch them while they're still happy and playing, and kind of wind them down until they get drowsy.  Grandparents also seem to have difficulty feeding the guys.  It is true that it is harder to feed them when we have company.  They're distracted by all the activity, and aren't really focused on eating.  Still, if you don't put forth a strong effort to get them to eat at least half their food and bottle, they will be seriously hungry in an hour.  The grands also don't want to give up the kids for us to feed them, so we just deal with everything being wonky while company's here.  I don't exactly have a schedule to my days, but I have kind of a rhythm that works well for us.  Having company knocks that all off the block, and that stresses me out.

I have found that I have trouble watching others handle my kids.  It's not that I don't trust them.  After all, these are the folks that raised hubby and I, so obviously they know how to keep a baby alive.  The thing is, when my boy is crying, I have almost a physical need to grab him up and soothe him.  I resist the urge, knowing that the grands would take it as a sign that I don't think they can handle a crying baby.  The truth is, however, that I get this when Hubby is taking care of the guys as well.  I think it's because when one or both of my guys are crying, I need comfort as much as they do.  Nobody else is their mom, and I really have trouble letting someone else take them. 

We got through the visits, though, and the Grands and boys had a great time.  We used Sunday's laziness to recover and get halfway back on schedule, and today we're back in the swing of things. 

1 comment:

  1. I totally know how you feel about the grands. My twin boys are my in-laws first grandchildren. The house isn't baby proof whatsoever and the dogs are constantly barking. I'm surprised my boys slept.. At least it gives us a break and we can find time for ourselves. However then they are off schedule and really cranky.. :)